Presents!

Many who know me, know that I love Christmas. I start putting my decorations up after my birthday (November 8th). I love the music, I love the lights, I love the stories and spirit of the season. I love that we have a holiday dedicated to celebrating a birthday, this alone gives me permission to love birthdays too!
But, this year something happened...
I hate presents. Don't get me wrong I really do love presents, but during this time a year it seems so ridiculous.

I love making my parents and Tay's parents their calendar each year. It has meaning and is something they love. They get to see pictures of their families all year long. I find joy making them. I find joy making neighbor gifts, going and telling my neighbors and ward members Merry Christmas and letting them know that we care about them. I find joy spending time with my family and friends, eating good food, playing games and making memories. But, what is with all the presents!?!
Have we really sunk down so low that our children have to go back to school competing with one another on who got the most or best? Have we sunk so low that we go thousands of dollars in debt to get the biggest or bestest?
Christmas is about the birth of our Savior! Showing our love and giving isn't a bad thing at all. If you came to my house you would see presents under the tree, but have we forgotten why we are getting these presents? Have we forgotten for what purpose we buy and wrap them? Have we forgotten for who we celebrate this season for?

I am not preaching because I know this more than you. I am on my soap box because I found myself getting caught up in the presents and I stopped and realized that the spirit of Christmas was not what I was feeling. I was feeling anxious and grumpy.
I don't want a holiday I wait for all year to become something dreaded. I don't want it to be a burden or a hassle, but instead a wonderful beautiful time full of love and Christ.
So may we each stop and think about those gifts we are buying and think of the love behind it. Think of what we can do for others and think of what memories we can make with the ones we love.
Merry Christmas my lovely family and friends! May the spirit of Christmas be with you this Christmas Season and may the Spirit of Christ be with you all year long.

November Rant

My birthday has come and gone. It seems as if my birthday never would come and now I blink and summer is over and fall is here.
November used to be my favorite month of the year, but since my darling Graydin came and left it just has not been.
This year I am trying to make it different, trying to change that. I don't want to dread my favorite month, I want to embrace it. Yes there will be tears and hard days, I do know that. I assume that November will never be the same and that those hard days will never go away. And to be completely honest... I don't want it to. I need the reality of my children, that they are real and that my heart still yearns for them. November = Love now and that means it is going to bring all the emotions that come with loving two little people with all my heart. And you know what that is a blessing.
I am not trying to be Mrs. Sunshine by any means, the loss of a child is tragic, hard and heart wrenching... I know. The grief of a mother who have lost a child will never end in this life, but remembering, loving and feeling isn't a bad thing. Sure it is a hard thing, but at the moment of my sharpest pain it is a blessing that they are real. A blessing yelling out LACIE!  Those babies are you yours! You are their mother! You love them!
So, November does not mean PJ's every day, drowning in my sorrows, weeping and wailing and being ornery. It means LOVE and all that comes with it.
So, my angel mamas and all who may be reading this who have someone you miss, make those moments of pain turn into love. Do something to remember them. Go to the cemetery, call someone who was there with you when you lost them, have a Dr. Pepper for heavens sake, go on a walk and find a dandelion or a butterfly, feel the wind blow into your face or the sun beat upon you cheeks, write a letter to them, listen to a song that reminds you of them, just tell them you love and miss them (they will hear you). (Mom take Grandma and go have a coffee at Crackle Barrel)
November doesn't have to suck for me anymore and I hope your dreaded season, month, holiday or moment doesn't either.

With Love,  Graydin and Alice's Mom

Soapbox

" Soapbox is a raised platform on which one stands to make an impromptu speech, often about a political subject. The term originates from the days when speakers would elevate themselves by standing on a wooden crate originally used for shipment of soap or other dry goods from a manufacturer to a retail store.

The term is also used metaphorically to describe a person engaging in often flamboyant impromptu or unofficial public speaking, as in the phrases "He's on his soapbox", or "Get off your soapbox. A modern form of the soapbox is a blog: a website on which a user publishes his/her thoughts to whomever they are read by."   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soapbox

I have a few friends who tease me about my soap box messages I have and as I was talking to my husband I thought why not record them. I do not believe all that I get passionate about would be called a soap box, but it it fun. 

A goal I have as I live the year before I turn 30 is to blog once a week, my family blog is fun but I often do not have things to post every week so, this will help with the goal that I have.