November Rant

My birthday has come and gone. It seems as if my birthday never would come and now I blink and summer is over and fall is here.
November used to be my favorite month of the year, but since my darling Graydin came and left it just has not been.
This year I am trying to make it different, trying to change that. I don't want to dread my favorite month, I want to embrace it. Yes there will be tears and hard days, I do know that. I assume that November will never be the same and that those hard days will never go away. And to be completely honest... I don't want it to. I need the reality of my children, that they are real and that my heart still yearns for them. November = Love now and that means it is going to bring all the emotions that come with loving two little people with all my heart. And you know what that is a blessing.
I am not trying to be Mrs. Sunshine by any means, the loss of a child is tragic, hard and heart wrenching... I know. The grief of a mother who have lost a child will never end in this life, but remembering, loving and feeling isn't a bad thing. Sure it is a hard thing, but at the moment of my sharpest pain it is a blessing that they are real. A blessing yelling out LACIE!  Those babies are you yours! You are their mother! You love them!
So, November does not mean PJ's every day, drowning in my sorrows, weeping and wailing and being ornery. It means LOVE and all that comes with it.
So, my angel mamas and all who may be reading this who have someone you miss, make those moments of pain turn into love. Do something to remember them. Go to the cemetery, call someone who was there with you when you lost them, have a Dr. Pepper for heavens sake, go on a walk and find a dandelion or a butterfly, feel the wind blow into your face or the sun beat upon you cheeks, write a letter to them, listen to a song that reminds you of them, just tell them you love and miss them (they will hear you). (Mom take Grandma and go have a coffee at Crackle Barrel)
November doesn't have to suck for me anymore and I hope your dreaded season, month, holiday or moment doesn't either.

With Love,  Graydin and Alice's Mom

Soapbox

" Soapbox is a raised platform on which one stands to make an impromptu speech, often about a political subject. The term originates from the days when speakers would elevate themselves by standing on a wooden crate originally used for shipment of soap or other dry goods from a manufacturer to a retail store.

The term is also used metaphorically to describe a person engaging in often flamboyant impromptu or unofficial public speaking, as in the phrases "He's on his soapbox", or "Get off your soapbox. A modern form of the soapbox is a blog: a website on which a user publishes his/her thoughts to whomever they are read by."   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soapbox

I have a few friends who tease me about my soap box messages I have and as I was talking to my husband I thought why not record them. I do not believe all that I get passionate about would be called a soap box, but it it fun. 

A goal I have as I live the year before I turn 30 is to blog once a week, my family blog is fun but I often do not have things to post every week so, this will help with the goal that I have.